Im sorry I cant be perfect!

hope my momma dont see it

so day 1 of spring break (well 3 i think) started off good... woke up way past noon stayed in bed in the dark listening to instrumental music and texting a friend didnt even take a shower ( i still havent yuck!!! lol he told me to and we all know how obedient i am) anyway googling random stuff reading blogs.... My two cousins melissa and cynthia came over.... they brought apple pie oh and the little monster joshua ( my world) spoiled little brat!! he wanted popcorn so i learned how to make it in a pot and made it... and it was awesome ( i hate popcorn) anyway the lil monsters dad came to pick him up and he wasnt done so i packed his popcorn and a goodie bag lol soo cute the only bag i found it was perfect and he loved it and appreciated it.... so anyway he takes the popcorn and then cynthia decides she wants popcorn too so me being really excited that i know how to make popcorn... decides to make her some only i had to pee went to the bathroom and totally forgot about the popcorn next thing i realize theres smoke everywhere and it smells burned.... so i run turn off the stove open all windows and thank the good lord my parents were sleeping 2 floors away otherwise i woulda been f%^&d oh and melissa caught it all on video and uploaded it to facebook hope my momma dont see it

I NEED YOU TO BE REAL.

BELIEVING IN YOU IS ALL I HAVE.

el malo

El me da su amor, Yo duermo con dudas,
Ahora vez que la costumbre, No es lo que aparenta ser.
Es tan sincero, contrario de tus defectos,
Pero sigues siendo el malo,
Que no dejo que querer.
Yo sere la cinderella, El el tonto que da pena,
Y aunque tu no seas un principe azul,
Eres mi amor y mi dilema.
Y al igual que en las novelas,
Eres el malo con una virtud.
El no entiende el procedimiento,
Cuando y como darme un beso,
Tu encambio encuentras el punto debil
Que me eleva hasta el exceso.
Nisiquiera se imagina de ese pacto misterioso,
Con mi alma y mi cerebro.
Tendria que volver a nacer, para ver si en otra vida me enamoraria de el.
No tiene la tactica adecuada pa' arrancarte de mi pecho,
Tu que me fallaste mil veces,
Sigues siendo mi dueno.
Que te pregunte como me conquistaste,
Que anote tus truquitos en papel,
No bastan los morales y ser fiel,
Si yo delirio por el malo que me eriza la piel.

t-minus 93 days...

let see what we have here...?

(first couple texts were the typical "hello" "what are you doing?" "hows it going? what are you upto?" then we got to the good stuff..) 

 [Boy:] i was talking to a friend about relationships and women..and i realized that 
I enjoy being in a relationship but I dont have the patience for it...eventually
[Me:]Lol i know the feeling it can be a lonely world sometimes and its nice to know someone cares and is thinking about you..Lol i need to find someone too someone who brings out the best in me and makes me better..its hard.
[Boy:] but i want one eventually and when i care about someone i care with everything
[Me:]Relationships are hard ive never really had a real one they require to much effort and compromising and sacrifice which sucks but could also be so beautiful.. im the same way i woud love to give my all when the day comes but i dont like wasting time and until i meet someone whom proves and i know is worth it im not willing to settle...Even though i really would like someone in my life i know theres alot i need to fix about myself lol we gotta be fair we want the best we have to be the best
[Boy:] Your looking for more than me lol i just wanna find a woman i get along with and that accepts me for me no matter how messed up i am
[Me:] Lol what does that mean? Ha well were all messed up arent we?
[Boy:] what does what mean?????? i dont think im that messed up
[Me:] lol well i am
[Boy:] Your way to specific lol
[Me:] Lmao why do you say that?
[Boy:] It sounds like you have a list of qualities that a man should have for you to date them or be happy
[Me:] well we have to know what we want right haha or what we need i dont literally have a list not yet anyway lol :P im just looking for what i deserve is that to much lol
[Boy:] Lol its not to much but the particular you get and the more you start to shape your "perfect" man or ideal man the less chance you get at finding someone
[Me:] Well...... i do only need to find one :)
[Boy:] ..thats true but when you realize that "one" dude isnt real its gonna suck
[Me:].. lol that would suck but honestly if my kinda guy doesnt exist i rather be alone
[Boy:] Seriously???
[Me:] never been more serious lol
(then the subject changed and we talked about how hes been really busy and i told him its great but that he should get some rest )