that 6 train...

"No tengo a nadie con quien intentar sobrevivir"

no maaa haha es para suicidarse esta cancion lol jk :'(

silently screaming

Someone point me in the right direction
Tell me where's the nearest piece of mind?
I'm going crazy

Knight in shining armor in the distance
He sees the angel threatening my life
Why won't he save me?
And all I want is someone to be there for me
Someone that genuinely cares
But I'm just dreaming
It's like I'm silently screaming
Even though I'm totally surrounded
I feel like I'm in here by myself
How about you do it cause you love me?
Not cause you want something in return
Is that so crazy?
Crazy
In the middle of the sea of helpless
But see, I never learned how to swim


Somebody save me


Somebody save me

i've been your best kept secret

half of my heart

I hate being right

LOL no seriously though.............
so i admit.... sometimes i jump to conclusions sooner then i should, judge people quicker then i should, maybe i am to "negative" (even though I'm known as one of the most optimistic person everr lol)......... BUT most of the time I'm right!! hahaha so humble NOT!
and it sucks i wish i wasn't always right about things that i know will eventually cause pain....


so we think we know someone huh??
One thing I realized.... you never really know anyone..so we've heard it many times before I have finally lived to understand it.


oh and another thing we truly are alone, so go ahead pursue your own happiness, cause noone but you can make yourself truly happy!!
and ultimately I will always come first.... selfish?? yeah maybe... but who else is going to care and protect my heart unconditionally... not you!! so honestly your opinion doesnt matter...sure your entitled to have it, go ahead knock yourself out... think what you want of me..... because i dont care :)

hmm...

i thought leaving the city for a while..... being far away from school as possible.... flying across the ocean to a totally different country would make me feel better....
















it didnt.

my current obsession

post secrets!!  (<-------click )

today...

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today.

I am important!

My job is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel honored because the Universe has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

What kind of day will you have?

2 seconds.

2 seconds it took..... for my whole thinking to change......
vanessa's (my cousin's) status


Can you get to your future if your past is still your present??


deeep right???? WHOAHHH!!!!! got me thinkingg

truth.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

if you are to fall in love Then where should you stand to begin with?

RELIGIONS SUCK!!

BUT I LOVE JESUS!!!! & HE LOVESS ME!!! lol

my little treasure. cept not really.

lol soo i just opened a folder on my desktop where i save random things.... i looked through it all today lol what's wrong with me?? im really emo sometimes and a very deep thinker... i love observing and i even have some embarrassing pics lol


(i'll share some stuff later on :P) 

because maybe you're going to be the one who saves me

desperate

need of amphetamine.

today

I FELL IN LOVE WITH MYSELF.<3




:]

this always makes my day..

SOUTH AFRICA 2010 BABY!!!

ahhhhhhh i cant wait Im maddd hype for the world cup!!!!
y en las exactas palabras de mi amigo Sam... " // México abre el mundial y por que no también lo cierra. Ya me puse la verde." hahah WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


YELLOW= my predictions of which teams will advance to next round.


Final Drawing:
Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, Korea Republic, Greece
Group C: England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia
Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana,
Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
Group G: Brazil, Korea DPR, Côte d'Ivoire, Portugal
Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile

20.

Definitely Beautiful.

The awful truth.

THE SOLUTION.

the solution to everything!!!!!



“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
-Gandhi



its our world, our people, lets take care of it!!!! - mE

.........

so why did i posts those stats and poems?
-because its REAL!!!

and after seeing precious i really decided to do some research anyway...

First of all in my eyes rape or any other form of sexual abuse is probably the most DISGUSTING and SICKENING crime. I dont why anyone would feel like they have a right over someone else's innocence. The body is a very private....... welll the bible calls it temple. So we will go with that for now. It really hurts that most of the women i know have been victims of rape or other sexual abuse... That alone is horrible and I am sorry for anyone who has ever gone through it no one deserves to be treated in that way doesnt matter who they are. I hate that men feel just because some women dress a certain way (to provocative) that it automatically means they can do as they please with her or just because she has a certain reputation they now have authority over her. Yes!! i knowww not only are women victims of sexual abuse some males have also been victims. It is absurd to just steal someones innocence! You're just never the same afterwards. I know people who dont like any type of physical contact because they have been traumatized even just to hug a friend has become a burden. I know women who no longer wish to ever be touched by another man and have turned to other women. ( I am not implying anything about homosexuals please do not take my comment out of context) ...... Many become suicidal, blame themselves, become overly promiscous theresss manyyy different consequences and its just not fair IT REALLY ISNT!!! NO ONE HAS A RIGHT OVER ANYONE SO WHY DONT U ALL KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELVESS until you have been given permission..... Go fuckinnn masturbateee... Take a cold showerr... Go run 30 milesss do whatevr u have to do BUT DONTTTT hurt anyone else..... The damage is serioussss and it cant be undone


and if you drugged someone then NO they have not given you permission and yesss it still rape!! especially our children leave them alone!!!!


Then you stop and think..... what could have turned rapists into the sick bastards they are?
well maybe they were once abused...... or who knows what possibly goes through their heads.... My point is ITS SAD!!! VERYYYY VERY SAD!!! Its the same cycle overrr and over again.... We are hurting ourselves! the same story repeats itself.... first it was our mothers than it was us and then it will be our children if we dont do somethign about it.

There are women who seeee their husbands raper their own daughters and NOT do anythign about it!!!! HOWWWW???? i dont understand...... God knows im not a killer but dont pushh me...

RESPECT!!!! its so beautiful!!! but where did it go????

Why dont men respect women anymore? I know alot of women dont respect themselves but still MEN you should still respect them!!
Thosee are your mothers, daughterss, sistersss!!


Do men think they are better then women?? I dont get it!! you came from one....
Think of the way you treat females would u want your mother or sister or daughter to one day be treated that way??


sorry if i sound a little bitter.... its just stuff i been noticing lately....

THIS SCARES ME.

http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~ad361896/anne/cease/rapestatisticspage.html


In the United States,
-1.3 women are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1872 rapes each day, 56160 rapes ech month and 683,280 rapes each year.


-1 out of every 3 American women will be sexually assulted in her lifetime.


-The United States has the world's highest rape rate of the countries that publish such statistics. It's 4 times higher than Germany, 13 times higher than England, and 20 times higher than Japan.


-1 in 7 women will be raped by her husband.


-83% of rape cases are ages 24 or under.


-1 in 4 college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.


-1 in 12 males students surveyed had commited acts that met the legal definition of rape. Furthermore, 84% of the men who had commited such acts said what they had done was definitely not rape.


-75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in acquintance rape had been drinking or using drugs.


-Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police.

stolen innocence

Innocence stolen without my permission
Innocence gone without my submission

Innocence lost through another's plan
Innocence no longer for another man

Innocence turned to hatred and fear
Innocence gone, no man can come near

Innocence taken from a little girls heart
Innocence replaced by mistrust, you thought you were smart

Innocence dissapears like dew in the sun
Innocence faded before it's begun

Innocence obscured like a cloud over the moon
Innocence ripped away too soon

-Mandi Ducroq

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



RAPE.
A horrible crime
Rape.....loss of innocence
Rape.....didn't have a choice
Rape.....Nobody heard my voice
Rape.....memory of the past
Rape.....hope it crosses my mind
erases out of my memory
so i don't have to remember the past
i wish she didn't tell me to go
so I would still have it
my innocence i mean
I used to be so clean
now i'm violated, unclean and dirty
and the guilt is killing me
even though its not my fault
i feel as though it is
when she told me to go i could have refused and ran
I could have dropped the stuff at the door
and ran.....but no.....i chose to go in
and he accomplished his mission
what he set out to do
i was only 5 years old.....he was 18
i hated every minute of it
I closed my eyes and imagined I was invisible
but he took all the invisibility
inside of me and i still remember the day
the scene keeps playing in my head like a movie
Rape.....didn't have a choice
Rape.....nobody heard my voice.


Funmi Esuruoso

Finally Precious.

So I finally got the chance to see Precious!!! It is based on the book PUSH by sapphire...... anywho I didnt even know what Push or precious was until some friends from school invited me to go see it with them. The only thing is we were going to meet up and by the time i got there tix were sold out...boooooo!!! :/ i know lol (but they got to see it)
SO i finally saw it!!! and I am glad because It has changed my life.... you may think hey well its just a movie.... BUt it has really opened my eyes!!! (Funny!! you guys remember my prior post?? the "open your fucking little pretty eyes" one) Well guess it was directed towards me afterall huh? i think this movie is based on a true story (not 100% sure) but it is real..... somone out there is going through the same thing right now.. But we rather not know.. we rather live in our own world which we often complain about and not realize that alot of people out there have it wayyy worse than us. It made me realize how blessed i have been to live the life i live... Not everything is daisies and rainbows but i definitely have alot to be grateful for.

Also as many of you know im extremely sensitive and emotional (lol its the musician and hopeless romantic in me) and extremely compassionate and generous as well for i do believe it is an honor and privilege to be able to give to someone.I have a heart for people i like to treat people the way i wish they would treat me.I would not be the person i am if some the people i know had not walked in my life and my desire is for someone to say that about me one day. I want to inspire someone i want to change someones life...... NO i am NOT perfect and NO i am NOT the greatest example... I might even be just the opposite!!
but sometimes a smile is enough to change someones world. I just wanna genuinely be there for someone.

So i am currently looking to volunteer somewhere.... I'll find something!! ... When i was younger i remember volunteering in a girls club it was lots of fun and i felt i had a positive influence on other girls. I also have some amazing memories of going on mission trips.. WOW THERE IS NOTHING LIKE IT!!!!! it is definitely the best feeling everrr to show someone something they did not know. Ive been to the best of places and the worst of places I've traveled I seen things... I have also done alot of experimenting some things im not to proud of.... buT of everything ive seen and done....TRUST!!! when i tell you theres no greater feeling then giving to someone (especially when its not temporarily but when you know you have changed their whole mindset) nowww im not here to change anyone.... But sometimes people arent aware of their own greatness..and I just wanna let them know how awesome and special they are.

MOVIEEE SPOILERRRRR (kinda altho it might be on the previews) In the movie they ask Precious... to introduce herself with a set of questions and answers....One questions is "What are you good at?" and the girl says "nothing" (wow even just typing this i choked up a little lol) It really breaks my heart to think that people think that way.... How can someone really believe that???It just doesnt make sense (okay im officially tearing..DONT LAUGH AT ME!!! im sensitive lol) No but seriously its very heart breaking. I dont understand what will make someone think there not good at anything... (well then again i use to hear it all the time and it suckss especially when people who are suppose to love you are the ones who say it to you) My mom is amazing and i adore her.... but my childhood was a little bumpy....she use to constantly tell me i was good for nothing...(extremely hurtful ) WAIT!!! before you hate her!! LOL My mom realized it was wrong and never repeated those words to me now she makes me believe ALL MY DREAMS ARE POSSIBLE AND I CAN DO IT ALL!!! i can even fly she says (lol awwwwwwwww!!!!)
hahah im ridiculous.....
No but seriously kills me that people dont comprehend their greatness..... The world is theres for the taking and they dont even know it... *sigh* Everyone is good at somethign EVERYONEEEEEE!!! And you are all special and this world would not be the same without you... I sware lol

anywayy..... i mighttt have gonee off topicc couple times....i had alot of different thoughts while writing this... but its my blog and im just expressing myself and if it doesnt make sense then sorry lol but it makes perfect sense to me :)

*sigh*

I have heard myself cry 'never again' Broken down in agony just trying to find a friend.

videooo phooooneee

WOW i thought Lady GaGa was really sexy (and she is) BUT damnnn Beyonce makes her look bad lol i would never wanna stand next to beyonce!! LOL

Do you even know what she wants?

to be continued........... (but this song does a great job explaining it)

Must Have Missed Something

I must have missed something along the way..didnt know that getting drunk was cool, must have skipped that day. 
I dont remember God saying 'Do you.' and only think about yourself, but who listens to God anyway, maybe I'm by myself. 
Seems like everything that goes against his Word is considered cool, and when I dont go along I'm looked at like a fool. 
So I'll speak my mind and pray that some will listen, 'cause God and mom's chancleta taught me something different. 
To respect women even if they dont respect themselves, to look out for your neighbor and not only for your wealth. 
For what has a man to gain if he loses his own soul, everything here is temporary and the same routines get old. 
Im scared to go down that popular path, someone has to do it right, gotta stand for what I believe in, and put up a good fight. 

BY: Robert Louis Rodriguez  (a very pleasant funny young musician lol and friend) 

this white boy is the man!!!!

ehhhh....

i've never been to good at this whole controlling my feelings thing.... but i have to be smart this time...

Because he is definitely

that guy i be stupid to trust.

i have a thing for crazy women.

Why are these dudes girlier than me?

Seriously!!!!! due to different situations I have been in lately.... and by just observing the men out there

Ive realized that a lot of STRAIGHT men are girlier than me. Why?? This is not cool!!!!..... ughhhh its

just been bothering me lately........... blaghhh lfshuidshfkdiufhsdfujdshdsuosadshuhn984u89ejhsbaud

Just enjoy the video!!!! I LOVEE HER!!!

its been a week.

My heart is getting motion sickness.

I

am addicted to something I've never had.

Guys

seriously step your game up.

Word.

For no art and no religion is possible until we make allowances, until we manage to keep quiet the enfant terrible of logic that plays havoc with the other faculties. 
~John C. Ransom 

10-17-09

BEST PHONE CALL OF MY LIFE :]

(it deserved its own post)

fml.

One of the mothers at the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk" ...Seems about right.

....I need a fix in those heroin eyes.

I WEEP FOR HUMANITY

IM ANGRY.

IM HURT.

IM DISGUSTED.

IM SAD.

IM AT FAULT.

IM TOUCHED AND MOVED.

AND I AM GRATEFUL.

REASONS FOR MY FEELINGS.....

1. Because this is someones "about me" section.... 

-"who cares what's right & wrong? If you ask me, this whole morality thing is such bullshit ♥" 

2.I saw a video which I would never post in which a little boy humps a woman...... i mean obviously the kid doesnt have the same depraved mentality of the woman but for people to actually think its funny or even be proud of the kid.... is just a shame. 

3.i saw a very gruesome video(though thats a little different) freak accidents happen........

Highlights of my week

I received a text which read as followed...

 "Yo did you die I havent seen you around the school" 

haha that made my day Vanessa sent me that and coming from her i know it really meant "i miss you" :D

and i just received a message on fb which read...

"your weird but in a awesome way. lol if that makes any sense."

haha soooo ive heard...i actually get that alot and i love it its the biggest compliment :D

Eres agua

Toco tu mano y nada me asusta, miro tus ojos y me hago inmortal

muerdo tus labios y acaban mis dudas, beso tu frente, sé la verdad

Digo tu nombre, me hago gigante, sueño tu pelo y encuentro la paz

corro a tu pecho, hierve mi sangre, huelo tu rastro y me pongo a andar

Ya lo ves, me derrumbo sino puedo verte

para juzgarte hasta la mala suerte cada noche que te vas

Oigo tu risa y creo en los milagros, siento tu abrazo y puedo volar

caigo en tus redes y me hago tu esclava,sigo tus pasos y soy libertad

Eres la llave que abre mi alma, eres el agua que mata mi sed

casi todo lo eres, yo soy casi nada,la nube q pasa y q no quieres ver

Busco tu sombra, tengo ilusiones,pierdo tu aliento y empiezo a temblar

toco tu vientre, nacen canciones, miro tu pena y rompo a llorar

Toco tu mano y nada me asusta, miro tus ojos y me hago inmortal

muerdo tus labios y acaban mis dudas, beso tu frente, sé la verdad

Ya lo ves, pierdo los sueños de mi adolescencia

pierdo batallas cada día que empieza al saber que no vendrás

Oigo tu risa y creo en los milagros...

Ya lo ves, me derrumbo sino puedo verte

para juzgarte hasta la mala suerte cada noche que te vas

Oigo tu risa...

AMIGOS QUE CANCION!!!

when love and hate collide

....

There must be something wrong with me, dont know if I can be helped
it seems that right from wrong depends on how much pleasure is felt
Evil things are now asking to be respected, 
66 books and 40 different people told me to expect it............

Por un destello de tu gloria.

Since when..

did my heart become a piñata ?

haha XD

NEVER...

wake up to "Hi nice to meet you"

I

realllllly reallllly wish I was in pennsylvania. many reasons. really wish i could admit my feelings too. and just say them. many reasons. but the biggest one is you. 

"Alone Together"

Because oxymorons, if used right, can be sexy ;)

use somebody

Would you..

open your fucking pretty little eyes??

(yes i did curse its my blog and i can say whatever i want, your approval isn't neccesary)

BAM!!!!!!  bsdljkfsdjkfhshjdkfbjdsbcjmsndbciudskhjcldns

INNOCENCE

Innocence stolen without my permission
Innocence gone without my submission

Innocence lost through another's plan
Innocence no longer for another man

Innocence turned to hatred and fear
Innocence gone, no man can come near

Innocence taken from a little girls heart
Innocence replaced by mistrust, you thought you were smart

Innocence dissapears like dew in the sun
Innocence faded before it's begun

Innocence obscured like a cloud over the moon
Innocence ripped away too soon

-Mandi Ducroq

pure.genius.

MTV Shows

“If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”

-Michael Jackson (RIP)

El manifiesto de los charolastras..

1. No hay honor mas grande que ser un charolastra.
2. Cada quien puede hacer de su cu#* un papalote.
3. Pop mata la poesía.
4. Un "toque" al día... la llave de la alegría.
5. No te tirarás a la vieja de otro charolastra.
6. Put* el que le vaya al América.
7. Que muera la moral y que viva la chaqueta.
8. Prohibido casarse con una virgen.
9. Put* el que le vaya al América (se repite, por que es reput* el que le va al América).
10. La "neta" es chida pero inalcanzable.

hahaha now listen up people i dont neccessarily agree with this...well i actually dont agree with this except for number 6 hahah thats my favorite :) but i found it hilarious and very interesting.

Greed.

I WANNA WANNNNA WANNNA!!!!!

I want a Prada bracet, a Louis Vuitton bracelet, multiplication bracelets (maybe if i had these before i wouldnt have repeated my math class so much in HS), a ton of bracelets made by a peruvian (im trying to make some right now but still..im not peruvian lol so i still need those), a bracelet with a bug in it, that beatiful BEAUTIFUL dress
(im not sure where is from :/ but i need to find one just like it!!), and a ton of irregular choice shoes, Especially those last shoes (Blythe by Irregular Choice London) which i cant find anywhere... So sad :( I will pay anything please!!!!













You put high heels on and you change. - Manolo Blahnik

I've Heard.

I’ve heard that you wanna save me
Rescue me from this place I’m in..
And I’ve heard that you take the broken and you make it new..
And you make it new.
And I’ve heard of your mighty power of your unconditional everlasting love
And I’ve heard that you take the broken and you make it new…
And you make it new.
Well I’m tired of being disappointed and I’m tired of going round and round in circles
And I’ve heard that you’ll never disappoint me
For you understand my pain

So I say…

I surrender to you.
I surrender to you.
Show me all that is true, oh lord oh lord
I surrender to YOU.

it is fair

to say I LOVEE MY ODDS.

Come on world Bring it On!!!!!!

:D

The dangers of being left alone

YES I PULLED A BRITNEY!!
sO.... i am now dealing with a consequence of a decision i did not think thoroughly. Ha!! so i had 2 lovely visitors in the summer (George and Mich whom both i adore) and we had an amazing summer. They left me alone for one day and i went ahead and....... shaved the side of my head. LOL i know!!! but I mean it wasnt completely impulsive it was something i really wanted to try... (or maybe it was just hairapy?.. probably) I actually loved it and i wanted to keep it for a while but my mother hated it ( i figured as long as i was still in the nest i could try to keep her happy) so my hair is now in the growing process and it looks stupid.... Now i have to keep my hair down everyday and that sucks.... I just want this s#!t to grow already!!!!!!



ooOHhhh!!! and guess wha i learned today??
That women are allowed to be topless in NY legally!!!! ahahah isnt that crazy!!

Glorious.Just beautiful.Amazing.

WOW!!!!!! (i saw this vid in someone else's blog so glad i watched it)
That was just wow i dont even know what to say, Just watch it!

Adidas got it right!!

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.



Usain Bolt is thhheeee man!!

A MUST SEE!!!!

i CANNOT wait to see this..... i literally cried watching the trailer (ok..ok..so im a little sensitive... :P lol)
but anyway I think EVERYONE should go see it .... Its a worth watching-learn something-change your life- open your eyes- you'll never be the same kinda movie



Dear blonde almost swiss looking Jesus,
Can i get an Adam Rodriguez!
Amen.

hahahaha jk jk (Jesus is mexican Duh!!) ;P



okayy soo i've never read a twilight book in my life, i do own the movie and loved it at first but Mich ruined it for me :( ..... so i decide to never watch it again or care about new moon.... but hey i just saw this trailer and i always did like Jacob more than Edward.... Wolf boy is looking Riight!!! ;)



an last but not least..... some shrooms.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWsZ2b_pK4

blaghhh stupid non embedded vids...
can anyone help with this?

Manos al aire

Tú, que pierdes el control
Hablando en alta voz
Hieres mi corazón
Yo, tratando de escuchar
No me puedo explicar
Qué extraña sensación.

Tú no me quieres entender
Y me mandas a callar diciéndome
No me debo sorprender
Porque así es la realidad
De nuestro amor

Y yo
No tengo armas para enfrentarte
Pongo mis manos, manos al aire
Sólo me importa amarte
En cuerpo y alma como era ayer

Tú que perdiste el control
Te dejaste llevar
Por la inseguridad
Yo que te he visto crecer
Me puedo imaginar
Que todo cambiará

Hoy aunque todo siga igual
Y me mandes a callar diciéndome
Que tienes que dominar
O será el final
Y yo no puedo así

No tengo armas para enfrentarte
Pongo mis manos, manos al aire
Sólo me importa amarte
En cuerpo y alma como era ayer

*NELLY FURTADO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttRmn84uv-I

Mi vida eres tu

sorry no official video......... but the song is very nice :)

HELP!!!

me.

thiss iss soo rad!!